Getting my anus inspected in Bangkok
Posted on 16. Jun, 2011 by Poi in Blog, Thailand
Since I’ve been in Bangkok I’ve had the pleasure of visiting the BNH hospital a few times. I thought the first time was embarrassing enough, having several people fondling with my balls after I found a small lump a few days before. At one point I was in a room with 6 people all of them taking it in turns to cop a feel. I would just like to point out despite the pleasurable experience this could have been, not all nurses look like they do in those ‘sexy films’
You’ll be glad to know it was nothing, my balls are fine.
I did later, however, start feeling pains in my groin and stomach which continued for a couple of weeks and prompted me to return to the hospital and face far more humiliation.
After seeing a doctor and trying out some pills for a few days, nothing changed. So back at the hospital in not the best English, I was asked to do a stool test. I was given a bag with a little cup and a spoon inside and directed towards the toilets.
Now as I said, I was asked to do this in broken English and was feeling a little nervous about the whole embarrassing situation. I had to weigh up the odds, should I ask someone to confirm that I was indeed meant to poo in this little cup or risk giving someone a terrible shock and handing them a cup of shit when it was meant for something else entirely.
“okay, just to confirm, I am meant to poo in this cup right? I don’t want to surprise anyone”
I would like to say the doctor and nurse took this professionally and said yes without a change of expression, but they didn’t.
After spending a while on the toilet (are you starting to wonder why your chose to read this yet?) I got my sample and gave it to one of the nurses, feeling pretty happy I didn’t have her job.
Turns out my poop contained something that poop shouldn’t contain, so I would have to come back and be ‘inspected’
I arrived at the hospital a couple of days later ready to have a camera shoved up my arse.
As instructed I’d not eaten in the last 24 hours and had spent the night on the toilet after taking some very powerful laxatives given to me in preparation.
Next thing I know I’m in an operating room, being rolled onto my side and injected with lots of drugs ready for my anus to be violated for the first time in my life. Thank god, I was asleep before game time.
This is where I should say I woke up in a bed none the wiser, but, that didn’t happen…
At first I didn’t know where I was, all I felt was an incredible pain in my stomach and shouted out in agony. When I opened my eyes I was greeted with a monitor showing a nice view of the inside of my intestines. To make it worse out the corner of my eye I could see the doctor behind me doing his dirty business with the pipe, which I could now feel moving through my insides.
A not so close up of my insides...
I’m assuming they pumped me full of more drugs because before I knew any more I was out of it and waking up very drowsy in a different bed, greeted with hot chocolate, a slice of cake and some water.
You’ve just been bummed, have some cake?
The nurse came to make sure I was okay and warned me I meet feel a little gassy as they had to fill me up in order to do the procedure, fair enough. Before I knew I was instructed to get dressed and head downstairs where Kirsty was waiting for me, along with the doctor.
I was rewarded with the news that my insides look fine and even given a copy of the pictures they took (available on request).
Kirsty and I left the hospital shortly after for some well deserved lunch, I’m glad to report I was walking normally, I did however have to leave shortly after eating as I was in quite a bit of pain and thought it best to rest.
I jumped in a taxi and began the 30 odd minute journey home, a few minutes in my stomach started to shift and make some interesting noises, the whole way home all I could think was…
“What the fuck am I gonna say to this taxi driver if I shit in his car?? he can’t speak a word of English! He’s not going to care that I’ve just been raped!”
I held out for the journey and swiftly made it back to the safety of my homely toilet.
Remember that gas I was warned about? Well bugger me! I was sitting on the sofa crouched over the computer when everything started moving, I sat up straight and whistled a lovely tune from my backside for the next 30 seconds.
That was it, the sensation to shit myself had gone, one big fart and I was fine.
I can’t decide whether this would have been more or less embarrassing had it happened at home, what was happening might have been clearer to me but I might have also heard the jokes being made or all the nurses talking about what a great bum I have?
Since the operation I have been away with my parents and will be returning to the hospital to see what has come of some samples that were taken during the procedure.
So it happened again… Getting my bum out in hospital again
Thank you 
49 Responses to “Getting my anus inspected in Bangkok”
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About Poi & Kirsty
Hi, we're Poi and Kirsty and we've been travelling since August 2010. We explored most of South East Asia before heading back to England so Kirsty could complete a teaching degree. We are currently living in London and will be writing about all our new adventures!
Click here to read more
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Getting my anus inspected in Bangkok
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Julia
16. Jun, 2011
So basically what you’re saying is that you had bad wind??
Wow, anyone would think this was just your excuse to get a little “back door” action
I actually LOL’ed several times while reading this, not sure what that says about my sense of humour, but keep up the funny posts, I love them!
Poi
16. Jun, 2011
Glad you enjoyed! freak!
Ahh no, I should have made that clearer (I will) after my monster fart the urge to shit myself had gone.
I’m still dealing with the original pains
Julia
16. Jun, 2011
Oh no, well I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you get sorted out soon (and not through anymore anal probing). And yes, I’m a freak
Roy | cruisesurfingz
16. Jun, 2011
Sounds traumatic, but funny!! Can’t believe you posted pics as well. lol
Poi
17. Jun, 2011
It was terrible at the time but funny thinking back.
I tried to avoid taking a close up of the pictures I have but maybe I should have been further away still haha
Camels & Chocolate
16. Jun, 2011
I kind of hate to say it, but I’ve been through something quite similar (in SF, though, not Bangkok). Turns out that I was not fine but rather have an auto-immune disease, blah, but the anesthesia was totally worth the butt invasion–I was high as a kite for the next day, ha!
Poi
17. Jun, 2011
That’s a shame. I wasn’t lucky enough to be high, my next 24 hours were mainly spent on the toilet.
I hope the tests come back with something, it’s good that my intestines are okay but something is causing the pain and I want to know what.
Dan Collins
17. Jun, 2011
This was such a nice read while eating my peanut butter on toast… especially once I got to the pictures of your anus. *slowly puts the toast in the bin*. I’m with Julia on this one, can’t believe what you’ll go through for some backdoor action!
Poi
17. Jun, 2011
What is it with people reading the title of this and thinking it will go with breakfast?? You’re doing it to yourself!
Dad
17. Jun, 2011
After a long journey back from Thailand wiping away your mothers tears that was a very funny post to read and cheer us both up. But I as your father am now a little concerned about your state of mind, I think I have worked out why you kept trying to take me around all the Ladyboy clubs. Look after him Kirsty, dont let him go off out on his own for a while.
Poi
20. Jun, 2011
Cheers Pops, I’m glad you enjoyed and I’ll pass on the advice to Kirsty!
Jeremy
17. Jun, 2011
Shame the doctor wasn’t a ladyboy. Maybe modify it for the next time you share it over a round of beers?
Poi
20. Jun, 2011
Good idea – will do!
Andi of My Beautiful Adventures
17. Jun, 2011
OMG you poor thing, what a horrific experience! I hope everything turns out to be fine. Yikes!!!
Poi
20. Jun, 2011
So do I, thanks Andi
Kelly
17. Jun, 2011
Aww, sorry you’re in such pain, but thanks for sharing and making me laugh!
I remember when you guys were just getting ready to leave, so it’s great to see these updates – even if they’re not the most fun. It’s all part of life!
Poi
20. Jun, 2011
Yeah this wasn’t exactly what we had in mind when we left but never mind it’s all part of the fun I guess!
Elise
18. Jun, 2011
I was slightly intrigued by this post, but put off at the same time! I only have myself to blame..how much more out in the open can you get with a title ‘getting my anus inspected in bangkok’?!??!I was the one who clicked and read on!!
I hope everything turns out ok for you though
Poi
20. Jun, 2011
So you’re one of the clever one’s who wasn’t eating when they opened this, well done!
Skott - Get Up and Globe
18. Jun, 2011
This post was like driving past a car accident on the side of the road…you don’t want to look, but you can’t stop yourself….
Very funny post, but most importantly, I hope you are alright.
Poi
20. Jun, 2011
haha I think you’ve got it spot on there, I wouldn’t have been able to resist looking either and thanks!
flip
18. Jun, 2011
holy sh*t… must be traumatic … and the pics… ugh!!! glad to know you feel better now
Poi
20. Jun, 2011
Cheers Flip, I can send you a close up of the pics if you want???
Heather
19. Jun, 2011
I can’t believe having to experience this at home let alone overseas. Hope you don’t have any more troubles, Poi! While I’m not glad you went through this, I’m glad you decided to write about it…not that I wanted to read about this particular subject
but it does make for good story telling.
Poi
20. Jun, 2011
My thoughts exactly, although I still don’t know what is wrong with me it made for a good blog post!
Toni
20. Jun, 2011
lol I know that I should feel sorry for you but I couldn’t stop laughing at that…though I’m in the office so couldn’t really confess that I was laughing about a guy, his anus and a whole lot of wind haha.
Hope you feel better soon…but in a way I don’t if it means we get to read more stories like this – hilarious =)
Poi
21. Jun, 2011
haha I hope no one looked over your shoulder as you were reading this, could be some interesting rumours going around about you haha
Anthony
21. Jun, 2011
hahahahahaaaaaaa you CRACK me up lad!!!
(see what I did?)
Poi
21. Jun, 2011
Have you thought of going into comedy full time?
Ali
21. Jun, 2011
I can’t believe you actually posted this, especially the pictures…hilarious! (And gross…) I have a digestive disease that requires I get my ass inspected every 2 years (lucky me) as cancer prevention but I can say I have never woken up in the middle of it. That’s crazy! But really all you can do to get passed feeling violated is laugh and make jokes. Fart and butt jokes never get old even if we do. Seriously though, I hope they figure out what’s wrong with you and it’s nothing major.
Poi
22. Jun, 2011
I think that is all you can do when someone puts a camera up your bum, laugh, only if you are expecting them to obviously.
Thanks Ali!
Erik
22. Jun, 2011
Hope you are feeling better!
Great job telling the story!
Poi
22. Jun, 2011
Cheers Erik!
GoingNomadDanib
28. Jun, 2011
Hahahaha…
If it makes you feel better, my dad framed his colonoscopy photo and hung it in his office, to show everyone what an as*$%le he really is.
Love this post. Love the picts. Love how you took your awful experience and made it into hours of enjoyment for others!
Poi
28. Jun, 2011
Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed my pain, that was the plan.
As for framing the photos, that’s genius. I’m not sure Kirsty will approve of such decorating of the apartment though…
Raymond @ Man On The Lam
29. Jun, 2011
Those photos are DISTURBING! It looks like fish you’d expect to find outside a nuclear power plant.
Nice that you got some cake out of it though…
Poi
29. Jun, 2011
So my insides look like diseased fish, I can live with that.
It was some expensive and well earned cake.
Will
29. Jun, 2011
Horrified, titillated, mildly amused, belly laughs, nausea, hypochondria: just some of the emotions I went through reading this. Like your style.
Poi
30. Jun, 2011
Cheers Mate! That’s quite a mixture of emotions, I wish I could write posts that got that reaction every time…
Ellie
29. Jun, 2011
Out of all the people I met whilst travelling I am least surprised this happened to you.
And on the note if the great jobs nurses have to do now you know why I rushed back to the uk to restart my job.
Hope the results are ok and try not to worry.
Poi
30. Jun, 2011
haha what the bloody hell is that meant to mean??
And yes, I have a new found respect for you and your choice of career.
Dominique
11. Jul, 2011
I’m one sick puppy because I actually was actually wishing I could see the pictures better! I guess that’s what happens when you’re a history of surgery & medicine major at one point in your life! Sorry for the pain and problems and I hope ti turns out for the best!
Poi
11. Jul, 2011
haha, see I knew someone would want to see them! I was told the pictures actually show I look fine other than a few spots which are nothing to worry about (confirmed with samples) so not a lot to see for your medical eyes.
Cheers!
Leif
18. Jul, 2011
Bahahah, funky stuff ><. I love it. I did a post on avoiding Diarrhea, theres some good poop humor in it, http://www.runawayguide.com/health-spirit/how-to-avoid-travelers-diarrhea/
Poi
18. Jul, 2011
It seems everyone loves poop humour!
Chris of Rambling Irish
11. Oct, 2011
Haha, this is a very funny post.
I was nearly in tears with laughter at this point – “You’ve just been bummed, have some cake?”
You’re a funny guy!
Waly
29. Oct, 2011
Learn to speak Thai and many of your fears and most of this article will vanish. เข้าใจ
Poi
02. Nov, 2011
Even the bit with the camera up my bum?
Jack
03. Aug, 2012
How much did this cost ?
I might have to get one done soon