Getting my bum out in hospital again!

by Poi on September 27, 2011

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It seems my record of ill health is only set to continue in Bangkok, I love this place but what the hell has it done to me?

Once again I spent a lovely day at BNH Hospital and once again it ended with something being inserted into my arse.  Although that’s obviously the bit you’re all desperate to hear about, lets start at the beginning.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Read: Getting my anus inspected in Bangkok

As many of you are aware I’ve been dealing with an unusual amount of toilet troubles the last few months, so much so, that long journeys can provoke nightmares.  I’m glad to report that after cutting out certain foods (I miss you coco pops) I am much better on the dump front.  Unfortunately the pains and swelling in my lower abdomen seem to be unrelated.

So this past Friday I returned to what is fast becoming my second home.

Hospital in Bangkok

BNH Hospital

As expected my physical examination came up with nothing, after all, I’d been through this a couple of times before.  The doctor recommended I go for an ultra sound to see if they could spot what was causing me the trouble.  However, following a short wait he returned to tell me that after talking to a colleague they felt I should go straight for a CT scan as anything that was found on the ultra sound would likely require a CT scan to establish exactly what was wrong anyway.

Made sense to me.

A few minutes later, now wearing the fashionable hospital gown a new doctor is explaining what’s going to go down.

“Firstly we will do a normal CT Scan, through there, should we not get a clear enough picture we will have to go to stage two. This means injecting some medication into your wrist and also your rectum, okay?”

Oh Jesus! Here we go again. “Yeah, Sure”

Needless to say, and much to my delight of course, the first scan did not provide the insight they needed.

Before stage two began, the nurse went through exactly what was going to happen. She spoke perfect English but referred to my rectum as my “ass”.  In any other situation this would be fine but for some reason coming from a nurse it just sounded really wrong. I don’t know why but it kind of made me more terrified? The whole time she was talking all I could here was “ass ass ass”

“I’m going to put this up your ass” – Erm, don’t you mean you’re going to gently insert it in my rectum?

Basically to give you the clearer picture I know you are all craving so much, a large volume of water was forced up my ass (rectum) containing some medication that would provide some contrast for the scan.

“Don’t worry, I know this is your first time but I have done this many times before” She reassured me.

Well actually… No forget it, I won’t go there.

The whole time my nurse/cheerleader was there encouraging me along the way, complete with her protégé who was paying VERY close attention to EVERYTHING.

“Now sir, you’re going to want to go to the toilet but don’t let it out sir, keep it in sir. It’s very important, just think in 10 minutes you’ll be able to let it out, don’t let it out sir”

The nurse clearly had not read my autobiography, I’ve had a LOT of experience preventing myself from going do-do where I shouldn’t.

Photo Credit: fotopedia.com

CT Scanner

But here’s the shocker, the pipe up my “ass” was not the worst bit.  The other part of the dreaded stage two, the injection in my hand, wasn’t quite the injection they made it out to be.

A technician was called in to set up a machine resembling a pump (which I later found was called a power injector). This pump was going to quickly push a large amount of medication into the vein on the top of my hand.  First though, the nurse had to test my vein was strong enough to handle the pressure.

She did this by filling a syringe and after a quick warning of ‘a little pain’ pressing down quickly and firmly forcing all the liquid directly in to my vein.

Fuck me! It hurts!

That was just the little syringe, as I looked to my right and eyed up the pump I wanted to cry, but you know, I was too busy trying to “Keep it in your ass sir”

As I was moved into the scanner my arms had to be extended above my head so my hand could remain connected to the evil pump.  This was probably the worst bit for me, with anything like that, injections, tattoo’s etc I like to be able to watch and see what’s going on, having nothing to look at other than the camera a few inches from my face which they were all obviously watching in the other room was terrible.

A quick test blast with the machine confirmed my suspicions, this is gonna hurt like hell but at least my vein wasn’t going to explode.

Power injector

‘Power Injector’ or ‘CT Injector”

As the injection began, just like ass nurse had warned, my left arm felt like it was on fire and as the medication made its way through my blood stream my whole body became very warm and a disgusting metallic taste filled my mouth. I couldn’t establish whether the warmth I felt down stairs was from the injection or because I had failed my nurse and not clenched those bum cheeks tight enough.

Once the scan was complete I sat up and was pleased to confirm I was dry, however, had the toilet been a few meters further away that may not have been the case.

After 2 or 3 failed attempts at leaving the bathroom I was done, changed and lead back to my original doctor after hours of fun.

Now comes the disappointment or relief? I’m still not sure, a few days later, which of the two it is.

Yup, you guessed it, everything once again is fine.  The problem is it’s not, every night it swells up and every time I try and exercise it hurts.  So while hopefully I can sleep a little better at night knowing there is nothing obviously serious going on down there I’m still having to deal with the same problems.

The doctor could only offer the possibility that I’ve damaged a muscle exercising in the past and it’s still healing.  The outcome seemed to frustrate him as much as me, he even wrote down his email and phone number so I could contact him directly at any time should there be any developments, but it looks like I’m just playing a waiting game at the minute.

We have a spare room if any doctors want to move in and monitor me full time?

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{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }

Pete September 28, 2011 at 5:11 pm

What a shitty situation to be in.

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Poi September 29, 2011 at 9:06 am

Well played!

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Satu September 28, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Whoah. Hope you get better soon!

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Poi September 29, 2011 at 9:07 am

Thanks Satu!

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paul | walkflypinoy September 28, 2011 at 9:30 pm

oh no not again. hoping they figure out what’s causing it soon. glad, though, you’re still able to find some humor in it. reading this, i didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe. or both if possible? 🙂

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Poi September 29, 2011 at 9:08 am

Thanks Paul, it was quite a funny day just a shame about the reasons behind it.

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Andi of My Beautiful Adventures September 28, 2011 at 9:41 pm

I’m so sorry that you’re in pain and you can’t find an answer. 🙁

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Poi September 29, 2011 at 9:08 am

At least I know it’s nothing to serious at least I guess.

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Julia September 29, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Sorry to hear this, Poi. Hope you feel better soon. It’s very frustrating being ill and not knowing what’s causing it, I can only imagine that’s worse in a foreign country.

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Poi September 30, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Yeah I’m kind of getting used to living with it, the NHS is gonna have a great time with me whenever I get back to England.

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Ali September 30, 2011 at 9:36 am

I hate that they still can’t find an answer for you, but I’m glad you’re able to keep a good sense of humor about it! That injection sounds like total hell, glad you survived!

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Poi September 30, 2011 at 2:43 pm

The injection was hell, they know what their doing keeping quite about the details of that until it’s about to start haha. No one would agree!

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Tawny- Captain and Clark September 30, 2011 at 10:03 am

Glad everything came out okay! No shit. We’re just glad you got yourself out of a crappy situation. Hopefully the problem has been rectified. 🙂 …Okay, we’re done. We honestly hope you feel better and that they find out what’s causing you pain. These posts might not bring the best memories, but they all extremely entertaining!

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Poi September 30, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Haha nicely done! Please feel free to keep them coming….

Part of me is glad of the stories but obviously I’s rather be better!

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Dustin Main - Skinny Backpacker October 3, 2011 at 1:50 pm

As a friend, I hope you get better soon.

As a reader, these stories are hilarious. 🙂

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Poi October 4, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Double Thanks!

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Talon October 3, 2011 at 7:20 pm

I’ve always loved those “you’re going to feel like going but don’t!” warnings. This constantly going on for you sounds awful!

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Poi October 4, 2011 at 10:04 pm

haha yeah I think it was pretty clear I wasn’t meant to let it all back out over the bed, she just kept reminding me and making me think of it!

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Lauren October 5, 2011 at 12:11 pm

This sounds TERRIFYING! Wow, I hope you manage to get this sorted out…

I had AGONISING cramps when I was in Taiwan and did things to cure them that I will never tell another person for the rest of my life LOL. But I feel your pain! 😀

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Poi October 5, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Ooo this sounds interesting! You can’t say something like that and not tell us (the whole interwebz) what it was!

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Peggy McPartland October 5, 2011 at 12:13 pm

I laughed so hard I cried! Sorry! I know the whole thing has to be awful but thanks for seeing the humor in it and sharing! I do hope you’ve begun to feel better and can quit spending so much time with the lovely nurses!

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Poi October 5, 2011 at 3:59 pm

haha glad I made you laugh in a good way, I’m sure the nurses have had just enough of me as I have of them!

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Backpacking Southeast Asia October 5, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Haha, this is a very funny post. Although I didn’t experience quite the stomach problems that you have in Thailand, I can certainly sympathise with that horrible feeling of knowing you need to go in the middle of a 12 hour buse journey! hope it clears up for you soon 🙂

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Poi October 6, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Got to be one of the worst feelings in the world and luckily for me in happens quite often haha

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Monica @ Total Travel Bug October 5, 2011 at 10:42 pm

Haha, I’m very glad to hear you’re not dying or anything but this really was pretty hilarious!
I have a friend who also spends half her time in the hospital. I think she paid for about 3 nights accomodation while in Thailand because she spent the rest of the time in hospital with various injuries and illnesses. You two should meet, I think you’d get on!

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Poi October 6, 2011 at 12:53 pm

She sounds perfect haha – unfortunately (or fortunately I guess) I’ve never had a free nights stay out of my visits!

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Shirlene from Idelish October 8, 2011 at 7:03 am

Sorry to hear about your ordeal! Hope you get well soon!

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Poi October 17, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Thanks!!

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Saar October 12, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Yikes,, this story really made me cringe.
I hope you feel better soon, maybe you can change some other things in your diet? Good luck and take care!

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Poi October 17, 2011 at 9:34 pm

I’ve been trying just about everything other than the one thing I can’t live without….. bread.

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Anthony October 17, 2011 at 9:30 pm

You’re so voyeuristic!! 😛

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Poi October 17, 2011 at 9:35 pm

haha I’m not ashamed to admit I had to google this, it basically means I’m a a pervert and get joy from this?? Cheers mate!

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Anthony October 19, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Hehehe well I had to check my dictionary how to spell it 😛

Yes, it means that you scoundrel. Get bum better soon mate!

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Travel Tamed October 19, 2011 at 3:35 am

Such a shity situation bro , get healthy soon pleas !
Cheers and btw – nice avatar :)))

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jan April 9, 2012 at 6:20 pm

Well that was on my end – but not so yours. All that and no diagnosis – bummer.

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mez August 20, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Going through something similar at the moment. Found your site and what a laugh i did not know wheather to laugh or cry. Hope my scence of humor hangs on in there! Hope you feel better soon. Thanks again take care!

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nidhin February 6, 2013 at 5:01 pm

injections were too painful right

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